In this blog post, we’ll explore the deep understanding of faith and humanity that Ayako Miura conveys through ‘Living and Thinking’, as well as the warm vitality that shines through in everyday life.
Anyone who sees a person with strong convictions feels a peculiar sense of affinity toward them. Not only those who hold convictions themselves, but even—strangely enough—those who have lost all conviction and feel as if the world is empty, sense a warm glow when they encounter someone with strong convictions of any kind. Perhaps that is why I naturally feel a sense of affinity for Ayako Miura whenever I read her novels or essays, which are imbued with such strong convictions. This is likely because her literary work stems from her unwavering Christian faith.
Ayako Miura is a Japanese female author who was introduced to us early on. Her novels, such as ‘The Freezing Point’, ‘The Hill Where Sheep Graze’, and ‘The Road Is Here’, were introduced to us as early as the 1960s and have long been recognized for their true value.
However, reading her essays rekindles one’s interest in her non-fiction, as they depict her inner life—which she could scarcely express in novels driven by plot—in a very tender and charming way. Through her essays, one can sense her vibrant and rich inner life more clearly than in her novels, and, as if gazing into a mirror, one can once again feel just how warm and steadfast her convictions are.
However, her convictions were not something she acquired while sitting comfortably at home. According to her autobiographical novel ‘The Road Is Here’, she was born in Hokkaido, Japan, in 1922. Between 1942 and 1945, while Japan was fully engrossed in the Pacific War, she worked as an elementary school teacher and wholeheartedly supported the war effort. However, when the war ended in defeat, she realized that her attitude up to that point had been wrong, and her convictions crumbled overnight.
Having been naturally strong-willed, she lost her will to live when her mind was overcome by doubt and nihilism; illness also struck her, and for over a decade, she suffered from a relentless illness, teetering on the brink of death. It was then that she barely managed to discover the meaning of life and hope in Christianity and, with great difficulty, made a full recovery from her illness; the faith she had newly gained was rich and radiant. Faith became the center of her life, and consequently, most of her essays were written with a focus on her Christian faith.
However, her essays are not stiff, dry, or didactic. Rather, they are rich and full of vitality—warm essays that even non-believers find appealing. This is likely because her faith was not merely conceptual or based on tradition, but was gained through heart-wrenching anguish and discovered through her real-life experiences.
She did not write her essays from some lofty vantage point of faith, but rather addressed the trivial worries, moments of confusion, and hopes that are no different from our own. This makes her writing feel very approachable, yet it always takes a form that ultimately returns to faith. Her reasoning is also natural and refreshing. Undoubtedly, her essays possess a unique poetic sensibility and a charm that grows more compelling the more you read them.
Her heart, as an ordinary woman, is laid bare, bringing a spontaneous smile to my face while also making me marvel at her vibrant personality. As I read, I find myself wondering if this stems from the power of faith or simply her true nature, and I, too, begin to feel a desire to embrace faith myself.
It is said that Ayako Miura first began writing essays after receiving a commission from a weekly magazine filled with articles about romance. At first, she reportedly felt “dazed and bewildered.”
She wondered whether readers would even give a second glance to her writings in the weekly magazine—even if she described how she never strays from her husband all year long, or how our daily life as a couple begins with Bible reading and prayer. However, once she actually began writing her essays, the response was overwhelming.
No matter how monotonous one’s life may be, there is always an inner spiritual life that serves as rich material for essays. This was likely because her sincere and earnest heart resonated with the sincerity that everyone inherently possesses. Thus, her first collection of essays was ‘Loving and Believing’, followed immediately by ‘Living and Thinking’.
Her essays take a form in which even the subtlest stirrings of the heart and the ordinary details of daily life ultimately lead to the peace of mind that comes from faith; yet at the same time, they intoxicate us like a gentle breeze with their surprisingly broad sense of humanity.
For example, in “Suspicious Goodwill,” she speaks as follows even about a person who seems to detest her intensely.
“There are some very nasty women out there. Not only do they always hurl insults whenever my name comes up, but they also seem to fabricate baseless stories and spread them around as if they were undeniable facts. … Even if it brings those people great joy to see my reputation tarnished even slightly, I cannot blame them in the least. … I feel like saying, ‘I understand, I know,’ and patting them on the back.”
Reading this passage, one is struck by the deep insight into the human heart, her optimistic disposition, and her courage—all stemming from an unpretentious spirit. However, I believe the greatest factor that makes her essays even more engaging is, above all, her vibrant energy and drive. Throughout her writing, many readers are awed by her character and spiritual strength—a character she has possessed since she was very young.
“Tales of Superstition” depicts this aspect of her childhood.
“If I pick up this stone, will my mom really die?”
I suddenly had a doubt. For the first time, I was questioning something I had believed in without a shred of doubt until then. I reached out abruptly and grabbed the red stone. And I might have even started to sob because I was so nervous. … Clutching the stone, I ran frantically back home.
“Did Mom really die?”
Although she herself sometimes criticized her impulsive nature, her essays overflow with a captivating dynamism and vitality.
These days, there seems to be a growing sentiment that essayists must appear in their own writing and convey a sense of everyday life, and it appears some readers have begun to look down on essays that are merely aesthetic or contemplative. However, even if one does not share such a narrow perspective, I believe Ayako Miura’s essays receive such a positive response precisely because they offer a glimpse into her vibrant spirit.
What particularly struck me while reading ‘Living and Thinking’ was not just the faith itself, but the way that faith comes alive in ordinary daily life. Her heart was filled with everyday emotions—worries, confusion, doubts, and hopes—and these are never presented as grand lessons. Rather, they flow naturally from the most ordinary moments of life into her faith. That is why her writing, even while discussing faith, resonates warmly even with those who do not share her faith.
Above all, I was struck by her attitude of observing human frailty and contradictions without readily condemning them. In her willingness to offer a comforting pat on the back even to those who slandered her, I sensed both a deep understanding of humanity and an optimistic disposition. Furthermore, her skepticism toward childhood superstitions and her actions in response revealed her lively personality and vitality.
Thus, reading this book leads one to believe that Ayako Miura’s faith is not merely an intellectual concept but something gained through long contemplation and life experience. This is likely why her essays feel so warm and vibrant. As we peer into the heart of an ordinary person living an ordinary life, we naturally sense how that heart encounters faith and, in turn, transforms it into the strength to live.
“Living and Thinking” leaves the impression of being a collection of essays that, while depicting one person’s ordinary life and inner movements, also captures a rich spiritual world and the power of faith. Her energetic drive, vitality, and warm perspective on the human heart naturally bring a smile to the reader’s face, while at the same time inspiring admiration for the strength of her convictions.
